Prologue

This is a story of a specific loss: the loss of an unborn child, and the resulting loss of the dream of bearing children. That story is not universal. But the story of loss, grief and transformation is universal. We can be simultaneously specific and universal. Individual and connected. Unique and the same.

Eugenia Cheng

Mezzo-soprano: Sarah Ponder

Loss

Rock a bye baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock

When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all

Bye bye my baby
My love and my dream
I will always be your mother
But you will never be my child

Bye bye my baby
My dream and my loss
I will always be your mother
But you will never be my child

Rock a bye
a bye
rock
Rock a bye
fall
down
down
down
all.

Grief

It's darkness
thick and suffocating

It's silence
ominous and loud

It's emptiness
heavier and heavier

It's pressure
closing in from everywhere

It's a vacuum
I can't get air

It's a thunderous clamour
with no rest

It's a dull thudding
coming from nowhere

It's a sharp stabbing
on the inside

It's an implosion
in my head

It's a shattering
of my soul

It's a void
in my heart

It's blood
draining, draining, draining out

NUMB THE PAIN.
NUMB IT.
DROWN IT OUT.

Transformation

Maybe I can
Maybe I will
I'm a phoenix
I burn and rise, burn and rise

I'm a dragon
strong and wise

I'm an eagle
strong and free

And I can still find
other things to be

The old path ended
but I go on
It's a different land
but it's the land I'm in now

The past is a dream that faded away
The path ahead is wet with dew
shining in the sun
in a new day

Take a step
Feel the fresh grass under your feet
And breathe in...out...in...out...

Chicago, July 2021