I am childless by marriage. Husband Number 1 did not want children. Husband Number 2 already had three kids and a vasectomy. He did not want any more babies.
Read moreChildhood Dreams
This poem’s for you – our children, for you are the meaning of life.
From the day of your conception to the smiles of your midwife.
Read moreOn Eggs and Ovaries
“You’ve got ovaries," said my Airbnb neighbor in Valencia. She meant it metaphorically, as in “You've got balls."
Read moreBeing a Sternenkind Mom (a mom to my child in Heaven)
My little sweet Lily Rose Marie, I actually wanted to write during the whole time we were together. Write feelings and little stories for you - for later. You should know how much I enjoyed every day, how nice it was to feel you in my body and to be bilingual with you.
Read moreChildlessness and Disability
The journey to childlessness through disability is a very varied one and this story is my own personal journey.
Read moreFrom a Childless Single, Never Married to My Childless Partnered Friends
I’m childless, single, and never married. And I wanted a partner and children. I wanted to grow a family and create my own pod of people who I would belong to forever. Being single is the reason I will never have children.
Read moreHow I feel: 6 Years on from failed IVF and miscarriage
I had a plan, but now I haven’t.
I had a path, but now there is none.
I am floundering, unsure, without purpose, skilled for something I’ll never be.
Read moreMy Living Loneliness
I am childless not by choice. There I said it! I’ve never been pregnant. Wow I even said that! It’s a horrible place to be and I’m sorry to bring you in here with me but thank you for being here.
Read moreFalling
Delany
Daughter I never had
Evolving into a woman I’ll never see
Why Me?
Why me with the unexplained infertility? The endless search for an answer, a reason.
Read moreIt’s complicated & messy… but it’s me
For as long as I can remember, I always thought I’d have a family of my own and it’s been my only dream for almost 3 decades.
Read moreSaying Goodbye
The toughest part of my story was acknowledging and working through the unresolved grief of childlessness.
Read moreNot Carrie Bradshaw
Life goes by so fast. All the things you think you’ll be, all the things you think you’ll have. . .they don’t always show up when you think they will. Or ever.
Read moreFacing the Aloneness of Aging as a Childless Woman
However much women with unchosen childlessness can move past their grief and feel that they’ve lived a meaningful and fulfilled life despite their childlessness, there are some sobering realities which come with aging for them and which it will be difficult for most to avoid.
Read moreAll is not lost - musings on grief
I’ve lost a lot of things these past few years. Loss. Losing. It’s a strange concept. I don’t really buy into it. Loss suggests absence. But these things are still present and I still feel them deeply.
Read moreInvisible Children
My children are invisible
My heart is where they stand
I’ve never seen their faces
I’ve never held their hand
Read moreWe Are All Made of Stars
I'm submitting a watercolour painting that I made to symbolise the nine embryos I lost from my first round of IVF.
Read moreChildless COVID 2021
I created this artwork not thinking about what it meant until afterwards.
Read moreEnding Our Shadow Life
It’s just over 2 months since our final round of IVF. I’m only just beginning to ‘feel’ it, partly down, I think, to being bed-ridden for 3 days with a bad summer cold/flu.
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