Steph Doe
I’m a musician and a psychiatrist, and still, I had always struggled with my childnessness state. Was it a choice, was it circumstances.. I wasn’t sure.
I had interviewed all my friends – with and without kids – but still, I wasn’t sure what to think. Was I missing something ? Was there still time, in case I was making the biggest mistake of my life? I had never really wanted children, but still, I had always wanted to be succeed at « life », or, at least, to feel « normal ».
After reading Jody Day’s book « Living the life unexpected », I felt such relief and understanding that I felt like I could – finaly- write a song about my experience and my doubts.
This song shows the hesitations, the change-of-mind, the struggles, that I was facing, and I hope it lands and helps other women shape their thoughts around this issue, the same way Jody Day’s book helped me.
I wrote it when I was 45.
Have you ever heard a song about this that wasn’t sad?
Have you ever heard a story that didn’t make you wanna cry?
Well it’s something so many of us go through
And it’s something that somehow is still taboo
And it’s hidden to your eyes
I never wanted a child or what they call a normal life
But every once in a while I get the feeling I’m missing out
Yet it’s something that only us girls can do
And it’s a fact, that some of us chose not to,
It’s a struggle hear me out
I do wonder was I wrong or right to
Think I wasn’t fit for that
Was it a choice that I made or was it just a waste of time
And will I forever wonder what it’s like on the other side
Did I just wait, and somehow now it’s too late
Or was it fate? Or fear I’d want to escape,
Never felt the “itch inside”
I do wonder was I wrong or right to
Think I wasn’t fit for that
Now and then I want to go to Barcelona
Now and then I want to go to San Francisco
Some people say they have never felt a joy so pure in life
And others say they would give it all for just one peaceful night
“the time will come and you will regret, you’ll see”
“oh you’re so lucky, I wish I was so carefree”
People please make up your minds
I do wonder was I wrong or right to
Think I wasn’t fit for that
Now and then I wanna go to Barcelona
Now and then I wanna go to San Francisco
