Would I?


Katherine Murray


What life could I have had, as a childless not by choice person, if I didn't have chronic illness and disability?

Where would I be living? Perthshire, Sutherland, the west coast? Mountains or seaside? Where my heart is; my land, my earth. In a cottage without close neighbours and a bit of land for my animals.

Would I have a horse? A thoroughbred ex-racehorse, or an Arab pony, or a big Clydesdale? Or all three! My dream and passion.

Would I have a dog? A little dog, or a big Irish Wolfhound, or a rescue Greyhound? Walks in the countryside and trips out together. Making friends with other dog walkers.

Where would I have gone with my career? Would I be an OT, still working in older age psychiatry; or a different field? Losing my career was so hard. A double hit on top of the loss of being a mother.

Would I have a partner? Or be content being single, as I am now? Dating would be too exhausting, too hard and I like my own space.

Where would I have travelled? Japan, Africa, Scandinavia, the Caribbean? Hiking, swimming, horse riding, exploring, being spontaneous, lying by a pool, resting, reading. Time with friends.

Would I have had any of this? Perhaps not.
Yet, I wonder…
Would I?