Michelle Simcox
Mother’s Day has always affected me through the years more than any other holiday.
I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Syndrome at 26 which means I was going into early menopause. I didn’t go into full blown menopause because I had other teen hormones feeding in and that kept me very irregular until my diagnosis.
I have been a preschool teacher, worked in restaurants and retail and currently in a grocery store. I see the little ones making homemade gifts for their mothers, all the happy families eating out and celebrating mom or grandma, and seeing all the stuff at work the flowers, cards, candy, gift cards, and other gifts and a meal to celebrate BBQ, which seems to be popular today. But knowing I will never get that homemade gift, that meal out or in bed or any of the stuff in the stores makes me feel so left out. In an industry where you are supposed to be happy I just want to go home hearing customers say to each other Happy Mother’s Day. When that is said to me my response is it’s not a happy day for me I’ve had infertility issues so no kids.
Yes I’m have my kitty Aerie and been a babysitter, preschool teacher but those are just titles as you can see I don’t get anything out of it. I’m also I Aunt, I have 3 sisters two with single daughters and one with boy / girl twins. So my sisters got to celebrate and got the homemade gifts, the meals and everything else. They tried to include me but there is that word mom that is attached.
People who are childless not by choice avoid church on this day. My church doesn’t do this but some ask all moms to stand or they get a flower etc.. and there is also the sermon normally focused on motherhood. Last time I went to church on Mother’s Day was about 15 years ago to surprise my mom. I had tears in my eyes and haven’t gone to church on Mother’s Day since then. It’s a day we actually grieve of what we don’t have or will never have or the memories you make.
When you’re a couple you can create your own traditions for Mother’s Day / Fathers Day and lean on each other. But what if you’re solo? There is no one trying to create traditions for any holiday is very difficult. This is also a holiday where depression and loneliness and even thoughts of suicide can set it. For most holidays are family oriented but what if you don’t have you’re own family? I will never get a to my mom or grandma anything or the celebrations, it hurts every holiday, and I deal with it in my own way but it’s difficult and lonely.
Over the years yes I’ve had a few surprises overtime but it’s not a every year thing and my nieces and nephew grew up so that special aunt title doesn’t mean anything these days. Since my mom tries to understand as a retired school nurse so she tries from a mom and nurse point of view. I celebrate her yes I do and dad but then there is me who everyone forgets I’m different and feel left out. Please note I’m including Fathers Day in this post as well.
