Tamara Meaux

When I realized I would be childless, the pain was overwhelming. I thought the worst of myself. How could my life have come to this? How could I lose the greatest dream I ever had to be a mother?

Blame and shame seemed to follow me everywhere. No matter what I said or did, no matter who I was speaking with, I felt unworthy. If I was not going to be a mom, then what was I going to be?

For the first time in my life, I asked myself this question. I never imagined I would need an answer.

It took years. It took strength. It took patience and compassion with myself. Little by little I began to heal.

As time passed, I noticed changes within myself. I began to recognize my own value. I saw that I had so much to offer the people and the world beyond me.

Most importantly, I began to recognize that I am worthy.

The blame and the shame began to loosen their grip. I came to realize that the choices I made at the time, were all I had at that moment. There was nothing to gain from punishing myself forever.

And so I have moved forward.

I have learned to love life again. I learned to trust myself again. I learned that even though my life did not unfold as I had planned, it can still be rich, meaningful and full.

Today I celebrate myself.

I celebrate all that I have endured, all that I have learned, and all that I have become despite the grief, the pain, and moments when I have felt unworthy.

Today I also celebrate you.

If you are reading this, you may be at the beginning of your grief. You may be somewhere in the middle. Or you may be where I am today.

Wherever you are, you deserve to be celebrated.

Not because of what you have done.

Not because of what you have achieved.

You deserve to be celebrated, because you are here.

You are valuable.

You are special.

You are worthy.

And you always have been.