Rachel A
This is a poem I wrote about finding the courage to connect with others and build support for childlessness in the workplace, followed by some reflections on growing through that journey.
Finding voices, making ripples, reaching out
At the start
I felt entirely alone
My voice extinguished
I swallowed my silent stone.
Impossible to speak aloud.
A chance encounter
A kindred spirit found.
Our voices like hoarse whispers.
Relief, release. Profound.
Stepping forward
Blinking, dazzled. In the spotlight?
Fight, or flight?
Neither. Standing ground.
Brave together. Finding our voices. Reaching out.
We cast away our silent stones
Into a mirror lake. What lies below?
Watched the ripples on the water.
Hearing a response, hearts lifted.
Recognition: fellow travellers, on an unchosen path
Greeting each other with compassion.
Ripples make ripples.
Voices break silence.
Voices acknowledge, connect, respect
Voices hold space, support, affirm
Voices encourage, enable, empower.
We can speak out loud.
My voice is steady, clear and strong.
I speak my story. I am visible.
We make spaces where others can speak if they are ready.
We learn when we listen.
Now the lake surface is like rain
Ripple after ripple, reaching out.
Building support for childlessness in the workplace
I work at a university. Several years ago, I became a Staff Wellbeing Champion. It’s a voluntary role, with some training provided, to support staff wellbeing in the workplace. I was very fortunate to connect with a fellow wellbeing champion over our experiences of childlessness and loss. We both felt keenly how difficult – and lonely – it had been to navigate in the workplace at the lowest points. We became workplace wellbeing buddies, allies and over time, firm friends.
We have established a support network for staff who are childless not by choice, open to all genders. We have been supported in our efforts by our employer, especially by Staff Health & Wellbeing Managers. At first, we published awareness raising blog posts and promoted the network anonymously. It felt terrifying to be visible at work, but we were both strongly motivated by the sense that no one should feel themselves alone in those experiences, as we both had. Taking those first tentative steps together gave us courage, and slowly we built confidence.
It’s very important to acknowledge, as with all aspects of the childless experience, this journey is personal and unique. It’s not easy to speak out at work, and no one should ever feel pressure, pressure themselves to do so, or compare themselves to others. We must all take care of ourselves as we need to.
We are now five years on, and the network has grown steadily. It is small but the impact for staff members is huge. The network is promoted and visible, and we have guidance on how to support colleagues. Stepping in to the uncomfortable space of being visible in the workplace, to raise our voices and awareness of childlessness has been an avenue for huge personal growth.
I find myself speaking to colleagues I don’t know, sometimes senior leaders at large events, and telling them about the network and my co-facilitator role. Having conversations at work about the impact of childlessness on wellbeing. I absolutely could not have imaged this at the early stages. Each time I have a conversation, it feels more normalised and natural, my voice feels steadier and stronger. No more ‘vulnerability hangovers!’ It is possible – and powerful – to speak out loud.
We have been contacted by others with their own experiences, who want to build support in their own workplaces. We now have an informal ‘network of networks’ where we support each other to raise awareness and establish support in our workplaces. This World Childless Week, we are holding our second University wide awareness raising event, with Gayle Letherby, World Childless Week Champion 2025/26, joining us as a guest speaker. We will be raising our voices.
There’s an incredible sense of how far we have come, and the difference it makes to speak our truths and perspectives. The first steps take the most courage. But when we are supported and we support each other, we can rise to the task, make authentic connections, and grow as we do so.
