Bethan McGregor

I was meant to be a mother
But if that isn't now to be
I'm not sure what happens next
What is it now that defines me?

The path I was meant to be on
Isn't this one I now tread
If I'm not to be a mother
What will become of me instead

Who am I without my children
The ones I should have had
The ones who'd call me mother
And call my husband Dad

I know not what the future holds
What life will look like now
The years stretch out ahead of me
I must move on somehow

But I walked the path to motherhood
The way I thought I should
I followed the diversions
I did all that I could

But now I've reached a dead end
This wasn't in the plan
I'm meant to be a mother
I don't know who I am

These other paths that I could take
Are not ones I want to follow
A mother's who I'm meant to be
Without that, I'm just hollow

What is a Mum without her child
Who is she in this life?
She's someone's daughter, sister, friend
And also someone's wife

Although I'm happy in those roles
There's one I want much more
The one that no longer can be
The one I was destined for

But destinies don't always work out
The way they're meant to be
I loved a life I couldn’t live
And the loss lives on in me