Karin Enfield-de Vries
World Childless Week Ambassador
As the festive season approaches, many in our community find themselves bracing for the emotional complexities this time of year can bring. The holidays, often framed by societal ideals of family and togetherness, can amplify the void of what never came to be. For those of us who are childless not by choice, these celebrations may feel like navigating a labyrinth of memories, expectations, and unspoken grief.
Acknowledging the Pain
This year has been one of profound personal loss for me. The death of my mother brought waves of grief that not only reflected the pain of losing her but also triggered deeper questions about my own childlessness. Her absence forced me to confront life’s larger questions: What is my legacy? What is my purpose? Where do I fit in a world that so often measures worth through the lens of parenthood? Sitting with these questions has been both painful and enlightening, reminding me of the importance of allowing grief to unfold in its own time.
Cultivating Reflection
As 2024 draws to a close, it’s a natural time to reflect on the ways we’ve grown and the lessons learned from what we've experienced. This year has been a rollercoaster in both my personal and professional life. My work has been both a joy and a challenge, showing me time and again, how deeply loss and transformation are intertwined. This has also been true for me personally and I am still working my way through the emotions and their impact on me. Reflecting on these experiences reminds me of the resilience I've cultivated, both in myself and in those I support.
Embracing the Present
The holidays can be reimagined as an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves. For me, this has meant navigating shifting family dynamics, both in my family of origin after my mother’s passing and within the family unit I’ve created with my husband. These changes have been a powerful reminder that love, and connection take many forms. This season, I plan to create rituals that ground me in the present—perhaps lighting a candle in memory of my mother or journaling about the lessons this year has brought.
Offering Grace to Ourselves
Grief is not something to be “fixed” but a natural response to loss. Whether we feel like celebrating or need to retreat from the festive noise, both choices are valid. Extending kindness to ourselves allows us to navigate this season with greater compassion. For me, this means honouring where I am right now, even if it doesn’t align with external expectations. It’s a reminder that healing is not linear, and that’s okay.
Gently Closing the Year
As we move through these last few weeks of the year, let’s embrace them with gentleness and intention. This is a time to reflect on the ways we’ve endured, the lessons we’ve learned, and the moments of connection we’ve shared. It’s also a time to slow down, to let go of the pressure to achieve or transform, and to simply be. These weeks offer us a chance to breathe, to process, and to step into the new year with a little more ease.
To those navigating this season: you are not alone. Your grief is valid, your story matters, and this community sees and honours you. Let’s approach the close of 2024 with compassion for ourselves and hope for what lies ahead.
Sending you a big hug,
Karin
