This is the day to speak from your heart about your childless life. The reasons you became childless, or the life that just led you where you are today. The emotions that have swelled in your heart, the grief you are living with. The pain of pronatalism and the cruelty of disenfranchised grief. Be raw, be honest, BE YOU.

Has your situation meant you were unable to have children or did you decide to not have children because you felt you were unable to give them the life you wanted to? Have you been judged for your decisions when others with the same disability or illness decided to have children? Have people compared your life to theirs and dismissed the reality of your situation? Have people been surprised to discover you wanted children because they made assumptions based on your health/ability. Have you been made to feel like a fraud because “you don't look ill”? Has anyone dismissed you grief and implied you are childfree because they don’t understand you made the toughest of decisions? What is the truth of your story?

In recognition of this being World Childless Week’s 10th year imagine sitting in a room with a captive audience. What are the 10 things you’d want them to know about how childlessness has shaped you? Would you explain the heartache and pain or the glimmers and new found dreams? The struggles of not being heard or seen when pronatalism bends and distorts the reality of being childless in the press, media, workplace and politics etc? Your lost dreams and doubts about your worth, or the inner courage, strength and resilience you have fought for? The sorrow of living with a disenfranchised grief or the beauty of who you are as a unique individual regardless of being childless? What 10 things EXPLAIN YOU?

What does it feel like when this day comes around? Do you feel torn celebrating your own parents whilst grieving for yourself? Was your relationship with your parents difficult and it hurts to not be able to right the wrongs with your own unborn children? Do you hate the weeks of build up and constant commercials that don’t see anyone but parents? Do you avoid social media and the ‘bragging rights’, stay away from church and the parental sermons and avoid stores and restaurants that distribute flowers to the mums? Do you celebrate being a pet parent, or has that been ridiculed? Is it really just one day that can be ignored? HOW DO YOU FEEL about Mother’s / Father’s Day?

Has anyone ever questioned why you want time off over the summer months or for a particular holiday such as Christmas, Halloween or Easter? Have your religious beliefs been ignored because “it’s all about family”? Have you had to schedule appointments outside of work hours because caring for elderly parents, friends or a pet is not seen as important, despite parents being given time off at short notice to be with their children, no matter the reason? HOW DOES it MAKE YOU FEEL when your requests are declined, based solely on not having children?

Childless does not mean less of a person or less of a life. We did not see our dreams come to fruition but it is not a reflection on our personality, life style or morals. We Are Worthy of finding happiness, equality, speaking our truth and celebrating everything that we are. Our voice, our thoughts, our reality should be expressed freely without fear of other people’s opinions. So you tell me, why WE ARE WORTHY?

What is moving forwards for you? Is it a giant change of direction emotionally and mentally or small little changes you didn’t even notice taking place? You may still have moments of feeling life is at a standstill but on reflection feel different inside. If your grief has changed, what has created those changes and how does it make you feel? Does each day now bring you NEW OPPORTUNITIES, smiles and laughter?

This will be an ongoing project based on love and loss. A memorial of the children we hold in our hearts; those we dreamt of but never conceived and the children we lost during pregnancy. Our Family Tree will be twofold and you are invited to participate in one or both sections:

1. A list of our children’s names to recognise they live in our hearts.

2. A gallery where we share images that feature our children’s names. It can be as simple as handwriting their name on a piece of paper, in the sand or on your skin and taking a photo; or something you create in Canva. You can add text or images, but their name is the focus.

This is OUR FAMILY TREE

You can add your names and images to Our Family Tree at: https://worldchildlessweek.net/our-family-tree