Embroidered Magazine Collage on Linen Canvas

Mine is a childless-not-by-choice story. A year ago, at age 39, I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis. Years of unexplained infertility led to recurring lung collapse and at last prompted this diagnosis. Several women in my family also were diagnosed with Endo, but I am the only one among them who has had trouble with fertility and a case so extreme that it required 2 major lung surgeries in one year. Some days the pain of never having the baby I planned on having is a close rival to the pain of a recurring lung collapse. Some days I love my life just as it is and move forward freely. 

In this unique position, it is especially apparent to me that I alone have the steerage of my course. In a family of girls who grew up to be biological mothers, I know now that this will not be me. I direct my sail into an unexplored territory and am charting a childless course with my husband, two stepsons and a 17 year-old cat, who is witness to the way I create a new kind of family and new kind of lifestyle. 

Banehood