Empathy is not a motherhood credential

Any time a woman says “as a mother…”, what they’re really pointing out is that they have this special quality that exists because they are a mother.  In reality, many human qualities are not unique to mothers at all.  In fact, those qualities are found across humankind.

Using the phrase “as a mother” is divisive and self-indulgent by suggesting that one has a special sensitivity or quality that others lack.  A woman who states that “as a mother, I have empathy” suggests that her empathy resides on a level higher than that of a childless woman...as if empathy falls on a scale worthy of comparison.

I am an empath and my empathic sensitivities are highly tuned and something I am deeply in touch with.  I have the ability to connect with people on a deep level because I can feel people’s energy and emotions, allowing me to understand them.  I am in tune with my empathy and I use my empathy regularly.  Does that mean that I have more empathy than someone else? No.  We all have the capacity to have empathy for someone else, the difference lies in our ability to recognize it, understand it, and use it.  Empathy is not born of motherhood, it’s is born of being human. 

It is no longer hurtful for me to hear someone say “as a mother…”.  I am well down the path of accepting my childless life.  It is, however, angering to listen to a woman point out their perceived higher credentials due to motherhood.  And what does that say about her credentials prior to motherhood, that they were non-existent? 

If she really thought about it, her ability to feel empathy was always there.  She may just be more in tune with it because she has chosen to practice empathy.  That’s a conscious choice.  Not a credential.

Robyn Jamieson-Voss