Loss, Grief, Transformation - a song cycle
Prologue
This is a story of a specific loss: the loss of an unborn child, and the resulting loss of the dream of bearing children. That story is not universal. But the story of loss, grief and transformation is universal. We can be simultaneously specific and universal. Individual and connected. Unique and the same.
Eugenia Cheng
Mezzo-soprano: Sarah Ponder
Loss
Rock a bye baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all
Bye bye my baby
My love and my dream
I will always be your mother
But you will never be my child
Bye bye my baby
My dream and my loss
I will always be your mother
But you will never be my child
Rock a bye
a bye
rock
Rock a bye
fall
down
down
down
all.
Grief
It's darkness
thick and suffocating
It's silence
ominous and loud
It's emptiness
heavier and heavier
It's pressure
closing in from everywhere
It's a vacuum
I can't get air
It's a thunderous clamour
with no rest
It's a dull thudding
coming from nowhere
It's a sharp stabbing
on the inside
It's an implosion
in my head
It's a shattering
of my soul
It's a void
in my heart
It's blood
draining, draining, draining out
NUMB THE PAIN.
NUMB IT.
DROWN IT OUT.
Transformation
Maybe I can
Maybe I will
I'm a phoenix
I burn and rise, burn and rise
I'm a dragon
strong and wise
I'm an eagle
strong and free
And I can still find
other things to be
The old path ended
but I go on
It's a different land
but it's the land I'm in now
The past is a dream that faded away
The path ahead is wet with dew
shining in the sun
in a new day
Take a step
Feel the fresh grass under your feet
And breathe in...out...in...out...
Chicago, July 2021