World Childless Week

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Rocco: The Love That Came When I Needed It Most


Sandra McNicol


Rocco, you came into our lives when I least expected it and when I didn’t think I had the capacity for more love. We already had two dogs, and I didn’t think I had the energy for the training. Just six months earlier, we had received that dreaded phone call from the IVF clinic and were weighed down by the emotional toll of becoming permanently childless not by choice. But anticipatory grief is a real thing, Lanta (your dog sister) was heading towards her twilight years, and we were not sure we could cope with more grief. So, during the pandemic, in the midst of my identity crisis, you arrived—and you captured my heart in a way I never thought possible. You brought me so much joy when I needed it most. Yes, grief and joy can coexist.

From the moment you came into our lives, you made your presence known with those unforgettable zoomies up and down the beach. Your energy and enthusiasm were infectious, and your bouncy, happy nature quickly became a source of light and happiness in our home (and in the street as you greeted every dog and human you met) when we needed it the most. Your “George Clooney smile” never fails to brighten my day, making you even more irresistible.

Lanta, with her nurturing nature, loved and adopted you (and Lola) from day one. But Lola, oh Lola, was not thrilled with your arrival. She was so jealous, and it seemed like she would never warm up to you. Yet, with your irresistible charm, you managed to work your way into her heart, and before long, she was cleaning your ears and nursing you just like she did with Lanta.

You’ve always had such a chilled and laid-back attitude, Rocco. Even though you’re the biggest dog in the house, you have no idea of your size, and Lola bosses you around all the time. It’s hilarious to watch—this gentle giant, so easy going, completely at the mercy of a much smaller but determined boss. Your laid-back nature is part of what makes you so special, bringing a sense of calm and balance to our home.

Your affection comes on your terms, and I love that about you. If you’re not in the mood for a kiss or cuddle, you simply turn your head away, making it clear that it’s not the right time. But then there are those moments when you come over, wanting nothing more than to snuggle close and kiss my hand, and in those moments, you’re the sweetest, most adorable boy. You absolutely love having your bum scratched, and I must admit, it feels like I’ve become your personal bum-scratching servant at times! But seeing how much you enjoy it, I can’t help but indulge you. And let’s not forget how guilty I feel if I ever throw a yogurt tub in the bin without letting you clean it out first—your love for food has no limits.

Rocco, you gave me something to love at a time when I needed it most. Your energy pulled me into nature—the beach and the mountain—which was so healing for me. You helped complete our fluffy family, knowing that children would never be a part of it. You filled a void I didn’t even know could be filled, and for that, I will always be grateful.

Last year, when you got sick, our world was turned upside down. You seemed to be in so much pain, and little by little, it was restricting your ability to walk. We were back and forth to the vet, where they ruled out bone cancer. But a few weeks later, when the initial diagnosis of a strain didn’t improve with treatment and even morphine wasn’t helping, we were referred to a specialist clinic. We were told to prepare for the worst, and the fear and heartbreak were overwhelming. Seeing you like that, so young and full of life, was devastating. We felt so helpless, watching you struggle and not knowing what the future would hold. We had to be so strong for you, but it was heartbreaking to watch you struggle.

After an MRI scan and some trial and error with the medicine, we found out that your condition was curable. The relief I felt was so intense that I almost vomited from the built-up emotion. It took about six months in total, but we were so relieved to get our boy back. You showed incredible strength and resilience, and seeing you recover was like watching a miracle unfold.

Rocco, you are always by my side. Whether I’m working, relaxing, going to the bathroom, or simply going about my day, you are my constant companion—my sleepy colleague and my shadow. You are a true "mama’s boy," and I love you with all my heart. Your presence brings me comfort, and your loyalty is something I treasure every day.

You’ve become an irreplaceable part of our family, Rocco, and the joy you’ve brought into our lives cannot be measured. I look forward to many more beach runs, cozy afternoons, and quiet moments with you by my side.

Thank you, Rocco, for coming into my life when I needed you the most. You helped complete our family in a way I never imagined, and for that, I will always be grateful. I am so proud to be your "mami," and I cherish the incredible bond we share.