Do not mistake the 'damage' for weakness or neglect, they are signs of resilience & being well loved.  

For this chair is the legacy from one childless woman to another. The first a woman born into a new century, part of the generation who lost so many to the 1st World War. An inspiring woman whom I wish I could talk to now. The second woman is me, born 72 years later sharing that same childless fate. That woman was my Great Aunt Doris & this chair sat in her home.

We visited her often. Doris had been a governess & loved children, she had cared for my mum when she was evacuated during the 2nd World War. She was nanny to the guy who turned down The Beatles but that's another story & another project! I loved to rock on the chair & search for my mums initials, (she told me she had hidden them on the chair when she was a child, a ruse to keep me occupied!) it's a part of my childhood memories. Eventually it will pass on to me & then it will be my responsibility to ensure it's memories stay alive & find someone to pass it on to who will appreciate not just the chair but the woman who owned it.

Being CNBC has made me aware of those who have trodden this path before me. If I'm walking in a cemetery I will look for graves of those who are not mentioned as parents & say their names aloud so they too are recalled by someone. Being CNBC has made me more aware of legacy as we cannot take it for granted; even making a will is more complex, no obvious choices. I often consider how I will sort out my legacy belongings, where will my lives 'memories' end up?

Not being able to work means I feel my legacy opportunities are more limited now. Being childless has given my sense of legacy a different focus.  I want to create awareness about what it means to be CNBC, to make the path easier for the coming generations of childless people & remember those who have gone before. I don't want us to remain invisible & unconsidered or misunderstood within society.

Do not mistake the 'damage' for weakness or neglect for I am a childless woman & I am resilient & I am loved

By Kirstie HH
In memory of Doris Wantling 1900 - 1995