Fiona R

I have built a great relationship with my stepdaughter E over the past 13 years. Last year we were away with a group. After a couple of days a woman came up to me and asked 'Is E your daughter?' She was curious, interested and a bit puzzled. E and I do not look alike. I said 'No, she's my stepdaughter.' 'Oh' said the woman with total disinterest. She turned and walked away. I felt a bit crushed, as if being a stepparent didn't matter or count for anything. I didn't have a chance to ask her why she had asked.

It has been a tough journey being a stepparent. I love my stepchildren and appreciate the relationship I have with them. It has been hard earned. I help to parent them but I am not their mum, they have a mum. And I grieve for the loss of my own child or children. Gratitude and grief, love and loss, everyday.