God never alluded at least not in my lifetime that going to worship him would be easy. Going to worship for me helps to renew me spiritually. At least in the past that is what happen for me. And despite all the nice sayings “your welcome here” or “you are a part of our family” truly there are some who don’t seem able to feel, see or hear that welcome. Pain is real. It seems that we can not just whisk it away and smile politely (although we do) and say thank you so much for including me. Hasn’t God already included us through the cross…death….and resurrection of Christ. Being a woman who has dealt with infertility, worship within the walls of a sanctuary ‘hurt’. Many may say “you need to let God work through us so you can move beyond that hurt”. “Don’t harbor the pain it is not good for you.”

This is not just about infertility but also for those who have experienced the loss of a child, estrangement from a loved one….or just no one in their life that loves them like a family can. Having a child is not the answer for all but for some who have dreamed about having a child, worship can be filled with constant reminders. Baptisms, children’s choirs, communion, announcements of pregnancy, or at this stage in my life announcements of grandchildren. And then yes there are women’s groups…bible studies….get-to-gethers’….include more stories and conversations about what some of us will never experience. Those of us without children are not a part of the mommy club that has become such an innate part of society. “Your lucky” has been the answer to those of us without children. But there is no luck to NOT having a child…. the luck lies with the person who has been blessed to bring another human being into this world.

How do we help those who are dealing with those types of pains. A person I know on Facebook recently expressed her grief over the loss of her baby through miscarriage just within this past year. She writes “…knowing I will never be able to carry again is such a burden to carry….”. Where does she go for support? At my church we are all inclusive. At least that is what our statement of faith reads. We welcome all persons from all walks of live. Mind you my church isn’t doing that to harm but still it worship hurts. Churches seem designed to be family oriented. So where do people who truly are hurting fit into this picture. Are we to continue to attend worship despite our pain?

Am I just a bitter old woman who can not deal with life….is the person dealing with a miscarriage need to just get on with life. The fact is that there are a silent, heart broken, group of individuals or couples for whom worship hurts. I don’t have the answer and believe that somewhere between the hurt and the worship experience there is God. I just haven’t figured out where that is for me or my husband.

As most of us know God can be found in so many other places and times in our lives. I just pray that someday I will not feel like an outsider in my own family of faith. As it is written

At that time Jesus declared,… Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Luke 10:28

In faith, I will keep hoping that my rest and peace will lie with Him.

CLS