Catherine Spiess

Does being pregnant and then miscarrying mean you are now childless? What am I actually?

When your mother or father dies -- do they weigh them to determine if they were a person? If mom or dad dies then it is just a corspe now? No it wasn't a person, its a corspe. Keep saying that 5 or more times -- then wonder why a woman that miscarries with a less than 500 gramms medically defined mass that is legally not entitled by law to be defined as a child -- is more depressed now as ever.

What am I than? Am I even childless? Is this reality a friend or foe?

Years later I wrote my actual child a letter saying: sorry that you grandmother said it was good that you were never born to your great grandmother/Baba who would of loved you with all her heart.

Sorry that your father seemed to be so passive that I began to wonder if he was even happy your were there.

Thank you for beating your little heart for me and living inside me – even if it was too short in the eyes of this world. Only through all my journeys of being on this earth – am I now slowly seeing perhaps a purpose in life.

My community of other childless men and women together with  the now grave full with white feathers provided by a caring church have made it possible for me to see a bit of light at the end of a very dark tunnel – I am childless on this earth – I am a mother in the world beyond the written laws, taxes and small minds of this world.