World Childless Week

View Original

Ruth's Journey


Ruth


My name is Ruth, and this is my journey. From a young age, I always imagined that children would be a part of my life. It seemed like the natural course: go to school, get married, and have children. It was what society expected, and what I had planned for myself.

Growing up, I noticed that my periods were irregular, but each time I raised concerns, I was reassured that things would eventually settle. However, when I was 25, I suddenly collapsed and found myself in hospital. After a series of scans, the doctors discovered that I was seriously ill. The news was devastating—I needed a hysterectomy. The operation was necessary for my health, but it also meant that my dreams of having children were shattered.

In the aftermath of the surgery, I felt utterly lost and disconnected from who I was. The routine check-ups every two months, then every six, and finally every year and now every 2 became a stark reminder of what I had lost. It was a profound sense of grief, not just for the children I would never have, but for the future I had envisioned. The constant questions from others—"When are you having children?" or "You'll be next!"—were painful reminders of my situation.

Struggling with my mental health, I reached a turning point when I realised that despite everything, I was still here and alive. That realisation was powerful and helped me to begin rebuilding my life. I threw myself into community projects, finding solace in giving back to those in need. This sense of purpose brought me a new kind of fulfilment.

A significant part of my healing journey has been my dog, Maggie. To many, a dog might just be a pet, but to me, she is my world. Maggie's unconditional love and daily snuggles have been a source of immense comfort and joy. She's been my silent supporter, lifting my spirits in ways she could never know. Walking Maggie became a cherished routine, not only for the physical exercise but also for the emotional clarity it provided. These walks became moments of peace and reflection, helping me process my emotions and find balance.

Additionally, I discovered the therapeutic benefits of regular exercise. Engaging in various physical activities not only improved my physical health but also significantly boosted my mental well-being. The endorphins from exercising brought a much-needed sense of happiness and accomplishment, further aiding my journey toward healing.

Finding the 'Soul Sisters' group was another blessing. It's a community of incredible women who, like me, have faced unexpected turns in life. We gather to share our experiences, support one another, and simply chat. The understanding and camaraderie I found there have been invaluable, offering a space where I truly feel seen and supported.

My journey may not be what I imagined, and there are still challenging days—Mother's Day, in particular, can be tough. However, I have learned to cherish what I have. I have a loving husband, a supportive community, and a life full of potential adventures. While the path I’m on is different from what I envisioned, it’s uniquely mine, and I look forward to seeing where it leads next.

So, here I am, living a life I never planned but learning to embrace its unexpected blessings. This journey has taught me resilience and the importance of finding joy in the moments and relationships that truly matter. I may not have the life I once dreamed of, but I have a fulfilling one, rich with love and possibility.