I always wanted to be a mom since about the age of 6. I never wanted a career but to be just a mom . Unfortunately I was diagnosed with premature ovarian syndrome at 26 . Which means I didn’t ovulate. I was put on birth control pills , hormone therapy and eventually Clomid . We started the process for adoption but I found the process  very intrusive and its all about the money . My husband ( now ex ) couldn’t deal with me emotionally and mentally I was a mess .

Mean while I have 3 sisters that two had single daughters and one had boy /girl twins .they are now 30, 29 and 22, 22. At that time I saw all my sisters becoming mothers and we just had to throw in the towel . No matter what we tried nothing worked . I became that special aunt but I wasn’t a mom.

Finding acceptance hasn’t been easy besides being a special aunt I was also a preschool teacher . So I had kids all around me but no one to call me mom. Walking thru the store thru a infant / children’s section has always been difficult and even now I’m in my 50’s it still is . I work in a grocery store but avoid that isle most of the time.  

Having a fur baby my kitty Aerie and before her it was Lexi has helped me feel like I’m some sort of mom . My one sister calls Aerie my daughter lol and mom is grandma . So there is some humor that has helped, the kids getting older has helped me and view family gatherings from another point of view now that we are spread apart and only get together a few times a year .

One of my sisters passed away ( embolism ) and that left my niece with out a mom at age 22 . It kinda puts things in perspective. I no longer work with kids but live in a housemate situation with a single mom and 4 kids ( ages 8-14) I’m actually doing okay . I still have my days and of course FB pictures can be difficult.  But I have my daughter she says meow and has fur and she’s mine .

I have become a advocate for spreading awareness and educating people . It helps to talk to people and on this week make posts about your story . I do daily on mine and share them . One way of acceptance is to be open and not hide . Talk to others and share your struggles ,adopt a pet, seek counseling , step outside the box , write a book , poem or write a song , support groups , get involved in nieces and nephews lives . All these are ways to express yourself and find acceptance.

Michelle