Steps towards Imperfection and embracing it

I had high hopes for 2020, it was the first time in a long time that I felt a stirring inside me of things shifting and moving of change and energy. I even made a list of all the things I wanted to do, see, achieve, and explore…

Then Covid 19 hit us all – hard

life as we all knew it stopped and what was once normal life was no longer normal everything had changed.

Early in the lockdown in England, I was able to look at what I was doing, how I was living (or not) asking questions – what do I really want? What truly makes me happy – not the stuff that I thought might and should make me happy. With the world at a standstill, I looked inside and really asked the question.

What came back to me was Self compassion and self-care, not just bubble baths and face masks but real self-compassion – Have you eaten, follow what your gut is telling you – say no if you want to, stop the self-judgement, feeling enough even if all I did was turn my computer on and work from home still in my PJs – I showed up.

Also what came up for me was stepping towards imperfection – all of a sudden the world was not so Instagram ready – there were grey hairs on crowns where once perfect colour, Manicures started to look a bit raggy, no need for going out clothes… we couldn’t go anywhere on came the lounge wear.

Suddenly, I saw the world stripped back – each of us struggling with our own burdens which in previous times may have been easier to hide.

Imperfections that make us human, perfectly human with flaws and all.

This Year

Onto 2021, and this theme for me has continued, its different than not caring – I do care and I am WORTHY I stand in my truth and for what I believe in, and the chatter and opinions of others are quieter to me now. I feel whole and have accepted myself to myself and that has lifted a heavy load, I feel lighter more genuine.

I know my childlessness will always be a part of me, but its not just that anymore, I am growing and involving around it now.

I know the pandemic has been and still is an ongoing issue but for me I thank it as it gave me space to truly look inward.

Debbie N

Photo by Leonardo Quatrocchi from Pexels