It was one of those quietly spoken dreams.  Bearly auidble, until I could hear nothing else. The questions were the usual ones I suppose. Will I be good enough, will it all be ok? Most of all. I hoped I could try.  Try I did . I read some great books and allinged the stars. 

PREPARING 

I could hear it in the IVF nurses voice, as she said hello and asked how I was.  As if to delay what she had called to say.  Unsuccessful.

SINK 

No time to waste. Try again. Dive into the stress,  shame and the confusion of IVF. The glimmer of hope returns to mix in with all the other emotions and injections.

I could hear it the nurses voice when she said hello.

SINK

Relationships become harder.  The books are on the shelf.  I’m vulnerable and I don’t know it.  I’m exhausted and I don’t know it.

DIVORCE

I’m not familiar with my life, myself.  I’m in agony .  I want to avoid it . I struggle.  I need the right help.  I don’t find it.  Miscarriage and trauma ensue.

GRIEF

I find the social media Childless: Not by choice community.  I find the week this week in September. It helps.  They speak my yet to be spoken words.  

UNDERSTOOD 

The days months and years go by.  I let in the right type of help.  I face as much as I can.  I emerge somewhat. 

ACCEPTANCE

I start to feel some joy.  I remember the parts of me that remain.  I start to discover the new.  Time to start combining the two.

HEALING

Melanie Craige