Emma Manser

I have found it helpful as I have moved forward through my childlessness (5th year), to think about the things that 'I am', rather the things 'I am not'. Things that make me me, rather than the things that are missing from my life. You may not be ready to think of yours yet and thats ok too. Below are some of my 'I am's'.....what are yours?

I am....a loving and loved wife, daughter, sister, aunt, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, friend and cat owner. 👫 🐾

I am....slowing down and noticing more of life's small joys in the present moment. This is helping me to let go of the past and my depression and let go of anxiety about the future. 🐌 🦥

I am....chronically ill and have disabilities, physical and mental, but this is just a part of me, and I am learning not to let this define who I am. 👩‍🦼

I am....accepting things are exactly as they are supposed to be right now, which is key to my healing, alongside balancing this with my hopes and dreams for the future. Not easy but in progress. ⚖️

I am....a white, British cis female and I try to be aware of the privilege this brings me. I wish the world was a fair and peaceful place for all. 🌎 🙏

I am....homemade chicken nachos in front of the TV on a Saturday evening with my husband and a good crime drama series. Lovely! 😋 📺

I am...resilient. I have been to rock bottom several times in my life for various reasons, but I have always managed to climb my way up and out. From that, I draw strength. 🗻🧗‍♀️

I am....a crossword puzzle lover! ❎️

I am.... a recovering perfectionist. I am letting go of the need for perfection and bringing in gentleness, self-compassion and reflection. ✅️ 🤗 💞

I am....a proud crazy cat lady. I have always loved cats and had a cat in my life pre and post childlessness. My cat is not a substitute for a child, he is in my life in his own right. He brings me joy, compassion and love. 🐾 😻

I am....reconnecting with myself, my body, with nature, with others and making new connections within the childless community. I even have my own Oak tree that I talk to and admire from my window and my own star in the sky (The Nuddsy star!). I love watching the sky from bed at nighttime before I shut the curtains and sleep. 🌳 🌟

I am....Nando's Lemon & Herb!! 🍗 🍋 🌿

I am....a self-forgotten pianist, artist and writer and I hope that as more creative energy becomes available to me, I will be able to revisit these areas of my life which previously brought me so much joy. 🎹 🎨 📓

I am....organised. I am making a plan for old age and retirement with my husband. It is possible to do this, so we don't have to rely on others in our later years. 👵👴

I am....forgiveness. I am learning how to forgive myself and my body. None of this was or is my fault, I am not to blame. I no longer strive for something out of reach, I am peaceful with what is. ❤️

I am....a yogi and a meditator and love the feeling of mindfulness and being in the present moment this brings me. I am healing my nervous system with calming and soothing practices such as breathing, meditation and yoga nidra. 🧘‍♀️ 😌

I am.....an introvert. I absolutely love the company of others, but when it comes to resting, rejuvenating and recovering, I need time alone. I enjoy being in my own company and really love listening to the birds singing, the wind in the trees and the sound of silence is so refreshing to me. 🤫🔇

I am....a podcast lover and enjoy losing myself in someone else's life. I love reading but can now only manage 5 or 10 minutes at a time, so also find joy in listening (and falling asleep!) to podcasts. Some of my favourites are How to Fail by Elizabeth Day, Feel Good Norfolk, Therapy Works by Julia Samuel and I Weigh by Jameela Jamil. 🎧 🎶

I am....working on releasing the more difficult emotions around childlessness, my pain, hurt, anger, bitterness and regrets through inner work, meditation and breathing. A work in progress. 💨

I am....kind and caring. Ironically my high school nickname was 'Mum', because of my natural ability to nurture others and check in on them! I am now learning how to show myself the same level of compassion and kindness. 💞

I am....a newcomer to watching sport, having never really had the time or brain space before. This summer, I found joy in watching the Euros, various tennis tournaments and the Olympics. Can't wait for the Paras to start now. ⚽️ 🎾 🥇 ♿️

I am....spiritual. I am gradually uncovering my spiritual energy body which is helping with my healing. I even have my own spirit guide! ✨️🔮

I am....love and I know true love. I love my husband, family, friends and cat deeply and I spread and share love to all those around me. I am learning to love myself and my body. 🥰

❤️ I am....worthy ❤️

❤️ WE are....worthy ❤️

❤️ YOU too most definitely are....worthy ❤️