Super Salsa Hero

After going through one unsuccessful IVF cycle, I saw a counsellor to come to terms with the grief of being childless. During this time, I became withdrawn, felt isolated as I did not have family living nearby. Six years later, my husband announced that he wanted to divorce me. I became depressed and went to see my GP who put me on tablets to help me sleep. Luckily, my workplace arranged for me to see a counsellor to come to terms with this new grief I was experiencing.

During my sessions with the counsellor, I spoke about the grief of losing my husband and the grief I still carried of being childless. It was during one session that she asked me how I had overcome grief when I lost my nan. I told her that as a child I had loved dancing. When my nan had passed away, I took up salsa dancing. I absolutely loved it. The counsellor had planted a little seed in my mind that seemed to ignite some kind of light in me.

After that session with the counsellor, I started to use the internet to do some research and find out whether there were any salsa dance classes near where I lived. I found a couple. Although, it was going to be tough at the age of 49, living in the city in which I grew up in but had lost all contact with friends. It took a lot of courage to get dressed up and go out alone to a place I had never been to before. I was proud of myself for taking that one step but the class was not like the salsa classes I had previously attended which had brought joy into my life.

The following week, I decided to go to another class at a different venue. The teachers and the students were so welcoming. The very first night, I even partnered up with the teacher to teach the class! This boosted my confidence no end. I continued going to the class in my home city and even started going to another class in a nearby city run by the same teachers. I began to listen to music again which I had stopped doing since my IVF failure as I found music so emotional.

I had ignited my passion for salsa dancing and even ended up going away for a weekend where I learnt other styles of Latin dance. When I attend the salsa class, I feel as though I am part of a salsa family and they are such good friends. During lockdown, I have ensured that I have kept in touch with my salsa friends via Whatsapp and have organised weekly quizzes and even taught Chachacha via zoom lessons. Since the easing of the lockdown restrictions, I have arranged picnics in the park where we have been able to dance at a social distance but obviously not with a partner. I feel as though I have had a purpose in bringing everybody together and it brings joy into my life as well as theirs. There is a quote that says: “Dance enables you to find yourself and lose yourself at the same time.”

As I mentioned earlier, I started to listen to music again. I no longer watch TV as I find it too negative. I subscribed to Spotify and listen to music. The other day after meeting up with my salsa family, I listened to the track Hero by Mariah Cary. It resonated so much with what I have been going through these past 6 years.

Listen to it and see if: “there’s a hero if you look inside your heart”.

Tracey Lily

(I’m the one on the left)