Pronatalism exists

It exists every time a woman is seen as more mature once she becomes a wife and once she becomes a parent.

It exists every time a high profile woman makes a statement that despite every accomplishment, she is a mother first.

It exists when motherhood is seen as the highest female accomplishment.

It exists every time a parent mentions on social media that having and bringing up children was his or her best accomplishment.

It exists at every celebration, at weddings where people wink about the next stage.

It exists at baby showers, with tearful speeches about how people have grown up.

It exists during the romanticizing of progeny and one's descendants.

It exists when people talk about their life purpose.

It exists when people congratulate each other about entering the 'next chapter in life'.

It exists when she told me that women should be respected because they become mothers.

It exists when I was never given advice about 'if I were to have children' from anyone... and when I was given advice about 'when I have children' from everyone.

It exists in anonymous social media comments, where childless women are told that they are not women if they don't have a uterus.

It exists when childless women in other countries are encouraged to allow their husbands to take second wives.

It exists in the quiet and overt shaming of community members.

It exists when my colleagues tell me that 'when I have a child, I'll understand'.

It exists when early childhood development educators are told that they can't understand children because they aren't parents.

It exists every time people imply to me at work, that working hard for my patients according to my values isn't 'having a life', but spending time with one's nuclear family is 'having a life'.

It exists in the suffocating stigma of being childless.

It exists. There is no question at all in my mind that it exists.

The question is, even though it's everywhere, will it permanently seed destruction in me?
Will it make me feel 'less than' as a woman who doesn't have children?
Will it affect my ability to connect to my faith and my faith community , when sometimes faith and culture are so tied together that it's difficult to separate them?
Will I remember that even before mothers and women who don't have children - there were souls?
Will I remember that I am a soul, and not the sum of my roles?

I will remember that I am a human being
I will remember that I am worthy.
I will remember that I am a soul.
I have already begun my external future

And now I will start my internal transformation.

Anonymous.