Laura Chin-See

When I first started having periods at 11 years old, they were heavy and traumatic. I would suddenly bleed through clothing, I was vomiting, I had severe stomach and back pain. I was miserable and embarrassed. My mum took me to the doctor’s surgery, where I was put on the pill. This allowed me to live an (almost) normal life.

Fast forward to the year 2012. My husband and I wanted to start a family. I stopped taking the pill and assumed it would be easy but my periods returned with a vengeance. The link between infertility and gynaecology issues were not something I had considered at this point. I started to have extremely heavy periods, bladder pain, and migraines. I eventually went to see a gynaecologist at a private hospital, and a transvaginal ultrasound revealed that I had 3 small fibroids. My gynaecologist also suspected that my symptoms suggested endometriosis but said that this could only be confirmed via surgery (laparoscopy).

I had my first laparoscopy in 2014 where I was diagnosed with endometriosis and fibroids. At the same time, one of my friends had started trying to conceive, and was successful in getting pregnant straight away. I was really happy for her, but started to feel a bit sorry for myself and my husband because it was getting harder and harder to keep trying to conceive.

What followed was several years of IVF treatments, more laparoscopies due to adhesions (scar tissue) and an open myomectomy. I’ve been diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, fibroids, adenomyosis and menorrhagia (heavy menstrual bleeding). After this surgery, my consultant tried me on a drug called Chlomid (Clomifene). This is a tablet that basically helps you to ovulate. It didn't work for me, instead I had severe migraines and again my period became horrendous and unmanageable.

By 2018, I'd had 4 laparoscopies and 1 myomectomy to remove endometriosis, adhesions (scar tissue) and polyps. I was stuck in a cycle of having surgery to correct potential fertility issues, only for it to make things worse through the formation of scar tissue.

We had our first round of IVF (ICSI) in 2018. It is a very intense, stressful experience as you’re given a lot of information, a rigid timetable to stick to and of course injections that you may need to measure out and inject at specific times. I was bloated and in a lot of pain during this round as the medication caused my endometriosis and fibroids to flare up. I was also sore from all the injections. I was struggling to work during the treatment and did not account for the additional scans I would need (sometimes you may need to take the medication for a longer period of time).

We had everything crossed that it would work, each scan seemed to be favourable. 10 eggs were collected, 7 fertilised and 2 were transferred to my uterus. The remaining 5 embryos didn't develop. Unfortunately, it hadn't worked and we were heartbroken.

I went back to work and tried to pretend I was ok. I had no idea how to react when a friend told me that she had just had a second successful round of IVF through going private. She also mentioned that another friend was also pregnant with her 3rd baby naturally (they didn't think they'd be able to conceive a 3rd so decided to start trying and were successful straight away). Privately, I was a mess.

For the second round of IVF, we went to a different clinic. I'd taken time off work to focus on the IVF cycle this time. I'd also had acupuncture and was on a new/stronger fertility supplement. This time, 5 eggs were collected and 4 fertilised (good news). Again, 2 were transferred to my uterus as the remainder didn't develop. I had a horrible feeling that this cycle had also failed when I started to get my usual menstrual migraine during the two week wait. Yep, my period started and the pregnancy test was negative.

In 2020, after more surgeries we did a third round of IVF using an egg donor. This time, 4 eggs were collected and 2 were fertilised. This round was also unsuccessful.

By 2021, it was our fourth round of IVF (again using an egg donor). This time 9 eggs were collected! We were both cautiously optimistic as surely we would have a greater chance? However, only 7 made it to insemination and then 4 ended up fertilised. We had 1 blastocyst transferred to my uterus and pinned all our hopes on it. This was the first time we'd actually had a blastocyst transferred. It didn't work. The pregnancy test was negative. Our consultant said she could not do anything else to help us. We were heartbroken again but I’m glad she was honest with us.

We moved to a 3rd fertility clinic. I had been adamant that I wanted to do a 5th and final. A scan revealed that I would need surgery to remove my remaining fallopian tube. This fallopian tube was leaking fluid into my uterus (hydrosalpinx), and this can be toxic to an embryo. After several scans, I was also told that my uterine lining may be too thin to even sustain a pregnancy. Unsurprisingly, this is due to all the surgeries and scar tissue. At this point, it had been a while since my husband had his semen tested and so he queried this with our clinic. They carried out a test and it (predictably) revealed a higher DNA fragmentation than last time. It was another blow but our consultant suggested continuing with fertility supplements, adding in Vitamin E, and the possibility of us doing a round of PIMSI (a specialised method of sperm selection to identify the 'ideal' sperm for fertilising the egg) instead of ICSI.

The clinic did a mock cycle for us last year with the aim of trying to thicken my uterine lining. This involved A LOT of hormones (injections, patches, pessaries), so much so that I had severe nausea for several days. I felt stronger for getting through it though (as well as managing to inject myself on a moving train). The mock cycle was successful (the lining thickened substantially) and so my consultant said I would be given the exact same doses for our 5th cycle.

Last year, I ended up resigning from my job because of my menstrual health issues. I had been unwell with severe period pain on and off but the sickness/absence policy did not take into account chronic health conditions (I was told there are too many to add), and so I was treated the same as someone who was off sick with random conditions. I therefore ended up with too many absences and had to go through the disciplinary process. I eventually felt suicidal and my husband insisted I leave for the sake of my mental health. It was causing me more stress.

More recently, my husband and I decided to end our fertility journey because it’s been 12 years of pain and grief. After suffering a breakdown because I’m so overwhelmed (my mum has lewy body dementia), I realised that mentally I’m struggling. I don’t think I’d be able to cope with another round of IVF. I was told by my gynaecologist that if I no longer wanted to pursue fertility treatment, he would recommend a hysterectomy because my uterus is so full of endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids. I’m currently recovering from my hysterectomy and my husband and I (along with our westie Milo) are trying to navigate the world of being childless.