Idaliz Rodriguez

This poem is a reminder of that time when we still had hope for a baby and the pain that came afterwards. After three failed IVF cycles, we began a new journey of embracing life without children. (Poem in English below).

¡Cuántasvecestehabrésoñado!

Enciendouna luz que me ha cegado.

La mañana se hacelarga.

Estabasdentro de míhace un rato.

Solo yosé que existes,

Tesoro amado.

¿Eres el fin de una era oelcomienzo de un relato?

 

Juré no esperanzarme.

Ante tu idea es imposible tan largaespera.

Vi tucuerpo, ciencélulas.

Intentotercero,

Embrionesimperfectos.

Ruegos que llegan a oídosmuertos.

 

Xerófiloorganismoserías,

Inhabitable espacio has hallado. 

Mi amado sabe que he despertado.

Esperamos ambos un milagro.

No quedanlágrimas, solo gemidos

Ante un resultadoincierto: sin ti o contigo.

Waiting for Celeste, Javier and Ximena

Countless nights I have dreamed you!

Evenings that turn into years; I turn on a light.

Long awaits the morning sun.

Eleven hours ago, you were placed inside me.

Surely only I know of your existence,

Tender angel. Will this be the

End of an era or the beginning of a story?

Just don’t have high hopes, I told myself.

Another day of this impossible wait.

Viewing your body, a mere hundred cells,

Imperfect embryos,

Expecting the impossible in this last attempt.

Rabid pleas that reach a dead end.

Xerophilous organism you would have to be,

In this uninhabitable body you don’t stand a chance. 

My beloved knows I have awakened.

Evading our sight, we both hope for a miracle.

No tears left, only moans.

An uncertain outcome is imminent: with you or not.