By now you should be thirteen and sixteen

laughing long into the night

after lights have turned dark

sharing unexpected adventures of summer evenings

to last you till next time the sun turns.

Eating snacks from the fridge

who’s mysterious disappearance

I’d solve in the morning, whilst

you build secrets that are only yours.

Many days have gone by since you weren’t born

and I have mountains of lessons I never taught you

stacked up in the tallest of piles

in the middle of my living room floor.

Waiting patiently, to be

handed to another lost soul.

Every day I lean into the wind

who still carries the un-birth of you

whispering words that were meant for you

as if it knows where to guide them.

I would have told you how good it feels

to walk bare feet in the grass and

let rain form rivers on your skin.

How beautiful it is to pause long enough to

take in more sunsets than you can carry.

That some days, things will slow down

perfectly enough for you to take in

all the invisible beauty around you

and that it’s ok to hug a tree

even if your arms don’t reach.

I would sing about stars walking in the sky

and eleven little trolls and their troll mama

till your memories of the day

were safely tucked away in a treasure chest.

With softness tell you that you should never be

afraid to make mistakes -

that taking a step in the wrong direction

is better than not taking any steps at all

and that it’s okay to cry when things hurt

more than your heart can bare.

I would whisper about how things will

always be okay in the end

even on the darkest of winter days.

Hugged you till you could hardly breathe

when storms were growing under your skin

ready to boil over and crescendo into the day

till they dissolved into utter stillness

'cause sometimes words are not enough.

Helped you see that dark

is simply a different shade of light.

And reminded you time after time

that happiness is like drops of water

and that the best thing to do is to soak

them up before they evaporate into the wind

and are carried off to the next person.

Finally, I would reveal that

the biggest secret of all is simply

that this moment is all we’ll ever have

and we might as well embrace it with full hearts.

Cecilie Harris