Chantal L

Take mine. 

Take mine, like they are disposable 

Take mine, like it’s a nuisance to have them

Take mine, like you don’t even want them

Take mine, like there’s no bond 

Take mine, like you can have more anyway

Take mine, like you’d actually mean it 

 

“Take mine”

A joke to lighten the mood at my expense. 

A joke that laughs at what you have that I desperately want 

A joke that shows that you haven’t been listening to how deep my grief runs

A joke that puts distance between us

It took me years to stop crying at this comment. People mean well, I know. Which is why I now say, 

“You don’t mean that. I would take them or any other opportunity to be a parent in a heartbeat.” 

It changes the “joke” to a serious topic that no one wants to discuss (and maybe they’ll  reconsider the comment in the future)

I used to be so embarrassed about tearing up or crying when people (who know) said things loosey goosey about parenthood - but I’ve come to realise tears makes them uncomfortable too — and if someone wants to say something that may affect me without considering my situation —then they will receive an authentic response.