Working in retail / grocery you get questions about kids ( how old are they or how many do you have ?) I rarely ask first because then the tables turn and they ask you. As soon as I say I have infertility (premature ovarian syndrome) the first words back are well you can just adopt.

I normally say no not everyone can just adopt. Do you know how expensive it is? They want 5,000-8,000 up front and many have spent a lot of money on fertility treatments which is out of pocket. There is the emotional / mental impact with the homestudy and most find the questions intrusive and there is the wait and the fear of being turned down. It’s a eye opener for many.

My ex and I headed down the adoption route but the emotional toll was to much for me. I would scream it takes 9 months to have a baby why do we have to wait 4-5 years or more and these questions are ridiculous and just crawl up on the floor and cry. At that time it was the mid 90’s and we plopped down 2,500 and because we stopped the process (his idea) I don’t think we really got any money back.

I saw all 3 of my sisters getting pregnant and I couldn’t.

It was a hard time back then and still trying to find 100 % acceptance after all these years.

Even now in my 50’s I still get this thrown at me. If I could I would have by now right? And a lot of people don’t know there is a age cap on adopting. I’ve done my homework been through it and I’ve just had to accept I’ll always be childless and I’ll always be a fur baby mama and still finding my way .

Michelle Simcox